My Experience With Reiki I Training

My name is Madison Guyette and I am so delighted to share that I have recently joined the team of Love Living Holistics as an Intern! I am finishing up my last semester at Salve Regina as well as working to complete my 5th year in the Holistic Counseling Graduate Program. I have a strong passion for practicing and teaching a holistic lifestyle, and I am completely moved to be learning from the wholesome people at Love Living Holistics. 

Today, I am going to be sharing my experience with you all, as I completed the Reiki I Certification Training with Emily last weekend! A weekend that I thought was going to be like many others, was a weekend that completely altered something inside of me that I didn’t know existed. Going into the weekend I had a few ideas of what Reiki healing consisted of, as my mom is Reiki Certified. Over the years, I have learned some of the basics from her. Moving into this training I was taught that the word Reiki is made of two Japanese words- Rei which means “God’s Wisdom or the Higher Power” and Ki which is “life force energy.” Reiki is actually “spiritually guided life force energy.”

However, what I was completely unaware of was the energetic shift and the amount of self love that was going to be cultivated inside of me throughout the training. As we started the training Emily described Reiki healing in its simplest form. A transfer of Love. Honestly, at first, this idea seemed complex and confusing. I thought “will people even be able to feel the love I am trying to share?” and “do I have enough love to share with others?”. There were many questions going through my head when this concept was first presented to me. As we moved through the training we practiced multiple meditations, chakra balancing, sharing our experiences, vulnerability, and receiving and giving reiki. Throughout these moments, I had never felt so much love for myself and those around me. In these moments,  I felt purity, relaxation, contempt, and truly awake.

For many years I have struggled with understanding what it means to truly love myself. Growing up in this society there are many external sources that teach us the exact opposite of self love. After I went through this training I realized that I had the energy of love inside of me this entire time. It was no longer about convincing myself that I was good enough to love myself. It was about being provided a space where I could become in tune with this energy and learn what to do with it.

At first this energy felt overwhelming, however, as I allowed myself to accept it I began to feel this powerful sense of warmness throughout my entire body. Tapping into this energy is what is known as the Holy Fire. This energy can be transferred to others in the form of intention and “laying on hands” to provide healing, empowerment, purification, and guidance. How amazing is that? We have the ability to tap into this life changing energy to heal ourselves and other human beings. 

Today, I encourage you to find a space where you can access the empowering energy of love. Breath into it and let it fill your heart, your mind, your body and spirit. If this is something you want to expand into even more, I encourage you to take Reiki I. I promise you, it will change your life.

I will leave you with this, “Love has no limits, Love knows no boundaries.” It is your time to shine. 

-Madison

The Healing of Craniosacral Therapy

In order to understand how my session of CranioSacral Therapy made such a huge impact on my body, I would like to introduce some background information. CranioSacral Therapy consists of a light touch approach that releases tensions deep in the body to release pain and dysfunction aiding in whole-body health and performance. This specific therapy allows for the relaxation of the Central Nervous System which creates many benefits for the body as a whole. The soft tissues and fluid that protect the brain and spinal cord play a huge impact on the central nervous system. It is no secret that on a day to day basis it is very common to endure stress, in the process the body easily absorbs the stress and strain that we experience. Over time, the body will begin to tighten due to this tension and will effect the brain and the spinal cord. Unfortunately, this can compromise the function of the central nervous system and nearly every other system in the body. However, CranioSacral Therapy allows for these tensions to be released and allows for the entire body to relax and self- correct. 

By freeing the central nervous system to perform at its best, below are some of the following illnesses and dysfunctions that the CranioSacral Therapy can help with: 

● Migraines and Headaches 

● Chronic Neck and Back Pain 

● Chronic Fatigue 

● Chronic Stress Related Illness 

● Spinal Cord Injuries 

● Motor-Coordination Impairments 

● Learning Disabilities 

● ADD/ADHD 

● PTSD 

● Fibromyalgia 

● Scoliosis 

This past week I had the opportunity to experience CranioSacral Therapy by the incredible Rob Berube at Love Living Holistics. This was my first time receiving CranioSacral Therapy. Going into the session Rob gave me a brief introduction of the general understanding of CST and what I may experience throughout. I had previously gotten Reiki I certified, so it was important for me to understand that this wasn’t as much energy work as it was physiological work. This acknowledgment helped me to understand the process a lot deeper. In the beginning of the session my body was starting to accept the relaxation that was coming through but it wasn’t until he lightly placed his hands at the bottom of my spine and around my sacral area that I felt my entire body enter a state of relaxation.

I felt as though I was floating. At this exact moment my mind began to calm as I thought, “it is so incredible that my body can experience such relaxation just from a simple touch?!” As the session continued I felt as though my body was just existing on the table. I was experiencing twitches and spasms throughout my entire body. With each one I remember thinking, “I didn’t even know my body was holding tension there, or that it could even hold tension there!” After each twitch or a spasm I completely felt the release of the tension, how incredible?! As I began to regain more consciousness as the session was coming to an end, my body continued to stay in a state of relaxation and this continued for the next 48 hours as my fascia system was continuing to loosen and release tension throughout my body. 

Rob and I talked after my session and he explained that this feeling was due to my central nervous system coming into a state of relaxation because my fascia system was loosening up. This was also a result of all of the twitches and spasms that I was feeling throughout the session. Before this session I had no idea that the fascia system was an important component in releasing toxins from the body. If the fascia system is hardened then it is difficult for the body to remove toxins and for the central nervous system to relax. I learned that drinking much more water than I was currently drinking daily can aid in loosening the fascia system so that the body can release toxins through this fluidity system. I also learned that my hips are quite tight because Rob did not experience the drop of my sacrum as he does with most clients! It is so interesting to learn about the fascinations of the human body through these types of therapies. 

I was amazed to learn so much more about the human body that I had not known before. It is incredible to me that we can provide the body with simple yet complex alternative therapies that provide the body with all that it needs to be productive and healthy. A simple position of the hands on the external body can identify the rhythm of the fluid that is flowing around the central nervous system. As the practitioner locates areas of weak fluid flow they can identify the area in which the dysfunction is originating and create an internal shift. After this amazing experience, I would highly recommend this therapy to anybody! Not only is it incredible to enter this state of relaxation, but the benefits that it has on the body are essential! 

The words that come to me when I think about the CranioSacral session is “Love for the Body”. This session showed me more of what it is like to give my mind, body, and soul the complete love and gentle compassion that it deserves. Sometimes it is easy for me to forget to check in on myself and focus on what my needs are. However, this was a great reminder to me that it is so important to take the time to tend to my body’s needs. I hope that this can also be a reminder to you, to listen to what your body may be telling you, especially through these times. 

We are always here! 

-Madison Guyette

To Be Cherished

While waiting at the Providence TF Green airport last month, accidentally two hours early for my flight to Charleston, I had the privilege of sitting and chatting with a 26 year old male naval officer. Somehow after talking about what we do for a living we got on the subject of feminism and gender in life and the military. Sitting there with my sauvignon blanc and a pizza I offered to shared with him, I was frankly in blissful shock to witness the maturity, intelligence, humility and grounded masculinity this young man embodied.

His easeful, respectful and informed perspective made it seem simple, unbiased and clear how equality could exist in such a gender charged world. While waves of pure joy and hope for a different kind of future washed over me, just sitting there cheezin’ with the biggest smile on my face, I asked him, “What is the dream after you leave the navy? What would you do?” And I will never forget his response. It resonated into the deepest parts of my heart. He said, “I will love and support my amazing, brilliant girlfriend” (who had just graduated dentistry school and the reason he was flying to Charleston.)

With out a sliver of ego, no “look at how great a guy I am”, without a minutes hesitation, without shame, without a caveat (I will support her until I do…. or while I try and accomplish…) with a sincerity and humility that rocked me to my core, this 26 year old man showed me (outside of a movie) that choosing to cherish and support a woman was a life goal and dream worthy of owning and celebrating.

Thank you Kyle for the indelible mark you made on me that day. For opening my world to possibility I had to experience to truly believe.

I wrote this in April and knew that it was meant to be shared in its own divine time and that time is now.

I want to be cherished and treated like a goddess.

Not because I am special

Which I am

Not because I am a woman

Which is reason enough

But because that is the kind of love I give.

And I deserve what I give.

Opening the doors of my heart, actively dating with the intention of finding a primary partner inside of ethical non-monogamy has been both beautiful and challenging. Meeting wonderful men who embody many things I love and value but just aren’t quite the right fit and going through that wave of hope and disappointment again and again leaves the heart feeling a little tender after a while. Last night a man said to me, “you’re a lot to handle”. A previous partner once said, “you’re a hard woman to love” and what has landed for me today after a quiet day with myself is that yes I am am a lot to handle, for the wrong person. And yes, I am a hard woman to love, for the wrong person.

Making myself less or smaller so as not to intimidate or to try and avoid making another feel like they are not enough is not an option. The only partner I am available for is the person who will cherish me like a dream. To support my bigness, my wildness, my radiance, who cherishes the depths of my love, who as my beautiful friend Lara says, will revel in the challenge of being worthy of me.

As women, so often we don’t own, celebrate and revel in our brilliance and our magic. We make ourselves smaller as if that is the trick to being liked. We often settle and compromise our needs to be loved. The deepest, purest, most devoted love I have ever known is the love I have for myself and I choose not to compromise or abandon that love. For it is that love for myself that will help to create a beautiful partnership with the right person.

All my love,

Emily

The Cost of Not Being Heard

Caution. For those who have also experienced sexual assault this may be triggering. Please lovingly use your own discernment to choose if reading this feels okay for you.

Sexual assault takes a  piece of your soul. No matter how many years pass or how much light you conjure to fill the hole, that piece is lost to the moment when you were not heard. 

To those who did not hear, you are not bad humans but there is a cost to your not listening, a cost you need to understand. A human forever walking through life missing a piece of their soul. 

I was 16 and just beginning to come into my body, my sensuality, and an understanding of my power. A short skirt, a sexy walk, a flirtatious smirk. I liked the attention and the power I thought it gave me. 

I was seemingly just mature enough to think I could handle anything so I went out on my own. I drank for one of the first times. I flirted and smiled and when it was time to go I said my first no. No to going back to his house, no to him driving the golf cart I had been entrusted with. And that was the first time he didn’t listen. 

I can still feel his long finger nails searching for my most sensitive area. And despite my fidgets and my no’s, they still continued their search. So many forms of no. “I need to go home”, “the cart is my responsibility”, “I have to get up early tomorrow” “there isn’t enough time before my curfew”, “I have a boyfriend” “I can’t” none of which was heard. 

So conditioned to only think of others and their happiness, to make sure I don’t hurt their feelings, to make sure that they like me I even in moments found my mouth or my body making the sounds and the motions that would best please him, all along sinking deeper into a dark corner of isolation within my self, the “gone corner” a corner I would come to know well in the shadow moments of the next 18 years. 

In the beginning I couldn’t even touch the edges of that corner without either dizzying into a panic attack or succumbing to the swallowing goneness. After 4 years, I could talk to a therapist, after a few more years I could tell friends without getting fully sucked into the “gone corner”. After 10 years and a lot of inner work, I could say the word rape, see it on tv, and talk about my experience without unraveling but I could still feel the pull of the “gone corner”. After 17 years , I could notice when I got triggered during sex, allow myself to stop, cry, and communicate from a healthy and vulnerable place. I didn’t end up on the bathroom floor which was always the cold place I would land in the “gone corner”. I was healed, right? 

Yes and no. I have worked hard over all these years to meet myself in the gone corner, to hold out my hand to myself and walk back home to presence, to my heart and healthy self. And while it lives in my differently, holds less power, there is still a piece of my soul that is missing. Lost to the moment when my voice didn’t matter and was not heard. 

And yet, it was in the space of that lost piece that I inserted choice, power and devotion to my self in order to make myself whole. Not broken, but pieced together by light and my own love.

I write this at 4 AM, woken up by the throbbing of my womb, day one of my cycle and my body yet again helping me to purge and release the stored trauma. 

It took me all these years to fully learn that it was safe for me to hold boundaries. To learn to love boundaries and the power and self love they represent. 

To my 16 year old self, I see you sweet, beautiful, sexy girl. I see you. And I’ve got you. 

For us all, listen and really hear. Those boundaries you hear, they are a sign of personal power, self devotion and for some, the blood sweat and tears it took to claim them. Honor them. 

To my other survivors, I see you and the work, the healing, the courage, and the love that make up the mortar, the light that fills the empty space and makes you whole. My lost piece sees your lost piece, my wholeness sees your wholeness. And you are beautiful. 

Empaths

What is an empath? Well, an empath is someone who feels and absorbs the energy around them. These are the people sometimes deemed as sensitive, anxious, depressed, or socially awkward but also as healers, problem solvers and intuitive. Because empaths not only deeply experience their own emotions, energy and environment, but that of others as well, it is common for many empaths to internalize what they experience, which can lead to physical pain and illness and all sorts of fun mental and emotional defense mechanisms. With an innate and highly sensitive intuition, empaths are sometimes drawn to heal, fix and problem solve, yet can also be withdrawn and don't often ask for help. As children, empaths learn very young that they have to protect themselves from the energies that they are experiencing. This self defense develops differently for everyone but many find ways to create distance between themselves and others (emotionally, physically and mentally). Some turn to drugs or alcohol, some isolate or retreat, some create mental habits that fly under the radar of their own consciousness such as creating themselves as separate and alone/misunderstood, the fear of being alone and yet creating it that way. There's a plethora of ways in which empaths unconsciously and consciously "protect" themselves from experiencing the energies around them. This gift can often feel like a burden and very lonely, but it does not have to.

After searching for some good info on empaths, I have found that much of it has an underlying current of fear. Protection, protection, protection. Which automatically creates us as victims. It is very important for empaths to learn how to ground in their own energy, notice the energy of others and create practices for themselves to clear their energy fields and channel their light, but rather than being at effect of the energy of the world around us, we have the opportunity to harness this incredible gift. The first and most powerful step in owning this beautiful gift is choosing to own it. That means creating yourself as the designer of your life, body and energy and not creating yourself as a victim. You choose not to be a victim to the crowd that is overwhelming you, to not be a victim to the negative person sitting next to you, to not be a victim to stressful family situations (family can be especially challenging for empaths because of the close bonds). Thoughts become things. You're choice has the power to create your reality. It shifts your energy. Instead of choosing fear, self defense or self sabotage, you are choosing your power.

Here are some tips and tricks to being a healthy, powerful empath:

Grounding: consciously centering into your own body, connecting yourself into the earth and sending all that is not yours down to be recycled into more prana or life force. 

- go barefoot preferably outside in the dirt, sand, grass etc but also on a wood floor. Consciously connect yourself to the earth. 

- Clench In and up your lower chakras or Mula Bandha (sex organs and anus) creating a root lock (a lot like kegeling) 

Noticing the energy of others: begin to consciously observe how it feels when you are around other people. What can you pick up on? What do you feel? Honing this skill can be incredibly helpful in discerning what energies are yours and which ones are others, as well as seeing how certain energies effect you. Awareness opens the door for power. You can not change what you can't see. Get curious and start noticing! 

Clearing practices: everyone is different and I suggest trying a few and seeing which ones resonate with you the most. 

- smudging: using the smoke of sage, incense, Copal, Palo Santo wood, or even breath to clear stagnant or negative energy. 

- brushing your entire body down with your hands

- shake it out. Shake and move your entire body, moving the energy out of your system

- jump into the ocean

- take a bath with Epsom salts 

- Angel Wings (take a deep breath in, lifting your arms out like wings. Blow out all that is not yours, using your arms/wings scoop it all up, bending all the way down to the ground and as you come up, toss it into the air and turn it into fairy dust.)

How to sense/scan your own energy body: every empath holds or stores energy in different places in the body but the two most common areas are the chest and abdomen. First identify where in your body you store most often. Do you get stomach aches, bloat or gassiness? Or maybe you get tension or pain in your chest or feel a heaviness on it sometimes. At any given moment you can take a deep breath, close your eyes and notice what is going on in your body. Where are you holding tension, bloat, pain, heaviness? From there, you can practice any of the clearing exercises above or channel your light as described below. 

Channelling your light: your light is your inner power, your inner life force. It is love. It is your best friend and your super power, not just as an empath but as a human and a being of light. You can channel this light by consciously focusing on your energy. Your breath is the easiest way to tune you into your energy so begin with slow, deep breaths. Then focusing on the movement of the blood in your veins, the beat of your heart, envision your whole body emanating a warm, white light. This white light is love, it is your power, it is your guide and your protector. It is not a shield or shell but an energy that transmutes and transforms. When I am in a situation where I need to ground myself and turn on my light (I call it my light wetsuit) I take a deep breath, focus on my energy and most importantly on the love residing in my heart just waiting to be accessed. As my dear friend and resident cacao goddess, Nola Ganem teaches, find the smile in your heart and let it shine outward. 

To the many, many, many sweet, lovely, powerful empaths out there, this is a calling. For you to step into your light, own your power and radiate your love. Stop choosing to be a victim to other people, places and the universe. The universe only has your best interest and highest good at heart, so chose to trust that and your own ability to harness this beautiful gift. It is not a burden but a super power. Whether conscious or unconscious, everything is a choice. So bring it to consciousness and choose your power.  As you do, life becomes easier, brighter, and so much more magical. Your intuition begins to expand, your heart begins to expand and your capacity to be with ALL of it begins to expand. So, get to know your gift, love it, own it and shine bright beautiful being, shine bright. 

Please, please share your own experiences, resources and questions below. We all learn the most from one another.

The Many Shades of Love

Love is an all powerful thing. It is not just a story book, romantic comedy, concept but is the fabric of all that is. It is light, energy, power, and the force within you. It is life and a way of life. With that, it is constant and unconditional, always available and accessible. It shifts and shows up in many shades and rarely looks like we think it should. I've never known this more than I have this year. Love shows up differently everywhere. You love your parents differently than you love your friends, than your children, than extended family, and differently than your lovers. Love has many different shapes and shades but at the center, at the core, the energy of love is the same. It is compassion and connection. 

I was lucky enough to find one of my soul mates in this life. We met and instantly knew there was a soul connection that was undeniable. We both knew within a week that we would get married. We scared the crap out of most of our family members when we told them this less than a month into dating but there was a knowing that we both had that we were meant to experience life together. We of course thought it would be the story book romance and a life long happy marriage and while our marriage was filled with so much love, it did not end up being the forever we were convinced was our destiny. 

One of the most eye opening things I have learned this year, is that nothing ever has to look one way, or the way you think it should look, most especially love. Marriage never looks one way, divorce never looks one way, love never looks one way, life never looks one way. There are infinite possibilities within relationship (to yourself and others). Each and every human is divinely unique so how could our experiences ever be one way or exactly the same. We share similar experiences in life as humans but we can never truly know what it is to BE another person. Therefor, there is truly no room for judgement and if nothing has to look one way, why not create it powerfully how you wish it to be?

Marriage is a contract of the heart, it is not a laundry list of "shoulds" deemed appropriate by society. It is one of the most intimate relationships we can experience and it has nothing to do with time, money, age, location, religion or any other circumstances. In our short marriage Dan and I experienced more depth, connection and love than many marriages of 30+ years. Marriage is a soul connection and a powerful choice to learn and grow from one another, love and support one another. From my experience, this commitment and heart contract does not need to end simply because the relationship shifts, it just takes on a different shade of love.  

Through being in relationship with one another and choosing to communicate and work at it, we were able to come to a place of understanding, incredible love, compassion and respect for one another. Within that energy and that space, there was no fault, no "bad guy", no horrible "why". We saw only love. The thread that runs through it all. From there the gratitude just flowed like water. Gratitude for who we have been for one another, for how we have challenged one another, for the partnership, the memories, the tears and the friendship. In realizing that we were no longer meant to be married I simultaneously saw the purpose of every single moment of my life. That I chose all of it on a soul level in order to learn or remember all of the beautifully challenging lessons in my life. Through this ownership there was no room for blame, anger and resentment, only love. It's a miraculous and beautiful circle that we were so deeply aligned in choosing our marriage and also in choosing to end it.

Our souls were meant to come together to teach each other truly incredible and invaluable lessons, more lessons than I would have space to write here. The soul connection didn't lie, it just may not look like we thought it would. Dan healed a part of me that was always searching, searching for that person to make me whole, and allowed me to truly find myself, the person I was really looking for. I am the woman I am today in part because of him and his partnership and for that I am eternally grateful. 

Love is not something you have or don't have. It is always there for you to choose. How you want to experience your life, depends on how you choose to access that love. We were able to create a loving, supportive, respectful partnership in the shifting and ending of our marriage because of the way we accessed that love. Because we chose it. Because we chose the loving acts of ownership and gratitude. 

How can you choose love in service of how you really want to experience life? What possibilities are available outside of the way it "should look"? What magic can you create?

Interview with Prosecco and Plaid: How to Achieve Your Goals This Fall

I loved doing this interview with Caylin Harris from Prosecco and Plaid (the successful fashion blog started by my incredibly spectacular cousin, Jess Kirby). It was a great way to get excited about the emergence of the new fall energy and what opportunities and possibility are available with this powerful shift.  

"Fall is coming. And yes, we know that it doesn’t officially start for another two weeks, but like it or not that seasonal shift is happening. So why not use the energy and mindset change to help you accomplish goals or reaffirm commitments you’ve made to yourself? We spoke to Emily Perkins, a holistic health practitioner with a focus in holistic life coaching about how to get the most out of the changing seasons and achieve your goals this fall.

P&P : Why is there so much buzz around the seasonal shift from summer to fall?
Emily: While summer can be a great and an often needed break, the cool fall air brings in a wave of refreshing newness, a blank slate for your life. Seasonal changes are a phenomenal shift of new energy, a revival and reminder of what we’re committed to. It’s palpable. It facilitates movement and change. Take advantage of being more energized/motivated and re-focus.

P&P: How can we make the most of this seasonal shift?
Emily: Focus on your commitments. Whether it’s a healthy body or creating a happy work life, our commitments to ourselves have a ton of power. I recommend working on two to four different areas of your life at a time, more can be too overwhelming. Figure out what your goals are and create actions and plans around them. If you can figure out the why behind your goals it will give you the foundational drive to accomplish them. Get curious about where your goals are coming from.

P&P: What’s the best way to do that?
Emily: The question I always start with is what will that give you. Keep asking yourself that question until your answer is down to one word. Our goals are fueled by deeper feelings. Identifying this underlying feeling creates more commitment and keeps your goals in the forefront.

P&P: What are some actionable ways people can put this into practice in their day-to-day lives?
Emily: After you identify what you want to change in your life, if you can, check in with yourself daily. Ask yourself what your intentions are and what do they serve. Check that your intentions are aligning with your thoughts, words and actions. Complete small daily actions or tasks that will help move you forward. Don’t do more than six.

P&P: Why six?
Emily: Small steps are a great way to give yourself an opportunity to win while getting outside your comfort zone. It keeps you moving in the direction of your commitments, but nothing is so big that if you don’t do it you feel like you’re failing. You’ve got to give yourself things you can win at.

P&P: So it’s all about small steps? Are there any other techniques we should keep in mind?
Emily: Yes! Remember that adjusting to something new can be hard. Be gentle and kind with yourself. It’s the most effective thing we can do. You need to accept the ups and downs. It’s amazing how far a little kindness can go.

P&P: What are some techniques when you’re feeling overwhelmed?
Emily: Get curious about your overwhelmed cycle. Everyone has a pattern and a way it normally happens for them. See where you can interject something that gives you relief. Some people find journaling helpful or if you’re overwhelmed with a to-do list, what is one thing that you can check off that will make you feel better? Try to give yourself a hand be kind with yourself. It is incredibly powerful.

 P&P: For those who might be wondering, what is a life coach?
Emily: It’s a really common misunderstanding that life coaches give advice. But it’s not therapy. They partner with you to empower you and help you reach your goals, while exploring what’s getting in the way of what you really want. It’s for people who want to grow and expand and live fully.

Who else is feeling ready to conquer the rest of 2016? Let us know how you’re achieving your goals in the comments."

A Transformative Year: A Journey Towards Unconditional Self-Love

•      My last two blog posts were straight from my intuitive consciousness. I had not yet read the beautiful words of Marianne Williamson, Brené Brown, Matt Kahn or any other spiritual leaders. I had absorbed the guidance from my enlightened friends and teachers but the "knowing" that I had was mostly intuitive, which goes to show that it is a beautiful understanding that lies within each of us. All we have to do is allow ourselves to know it. The all too common fear in the back of my mind said, "who am I to say these words. Who am I to share this with others?" What I realized is that it is not a position of authority from which I communicate, but authenticity, from love. None of what I am saying has not already been said, but that is the exciting part, that this kind of "knowing" lies within each of us and sometimes it is the simplest thing that we read, hear or see that begins to uncover it. The sharing of universal truths has the power to create incredible shifts within others. Have you ever heard or read something that rang so true that your heart began to flutter. A truth that you know, on some level, you have always known. That is the “knowing” I speak of. As much of a cathartic process as these blog posts have been for me, if they help even one person to uncover their “knowing”, to begin to see their true selves and start to heal their own layers, than my heart is full.

•    For me, this was a year of exploring the roots within. Not the stories or safe surface level answers that we tell ourselves but the layers underneath the layers. For the past 3 years my New Year's resolution, or as I like to call it, my commitment to myself, has been to be the healthiest version of myself, mind, body and soul. I didn't realize until almost the end of this year that that was a rather large feat and was more like a lifelong commitment and journey. I also realized that I had naturally and unconsciously focused on one aspect at a time. Last year was very clearly, soul. I have done more inner work this past year than the total of my life this far. Once I made that intention, once I started down a conscious path, a healing and self-reflective path, the ball started rolling and has never stopped. One naturally flows into the other, tied together like strings of a web. Mind, body and soul comprise the word holistic. They create one whole being. If our intention and commitment is to give that being it's best life, our best life, then the flow begins and all you have to do is allow, stay present and most of all start to learn how to love yourself. Love the darkness, the imperfections; even the layers of conditioning and eventually, you begin to see beneath those layers.

 •       The deepest layers are not just the roots but the seeds. They are the deep emotion at the very core that answers all of the other questions. Many people have asked me, “How do I get to the deeper layers? I don’t even know where or how to begin.” I've found that the best way to start is by ask yourself in every challenging situation with every uncomfortable feeling, "what within ME has created this situation, that lets this situation affect me. What are these feelings trying to tell me" rather than blaming or judging someone else. How do we know when we have gotten to the seed? It is usually a very simply concept or answer and it never has anything to do with anyone else. For we all know, the only thing we can truly control/ change is ourselves, our own consciousness, our own perspective. That is how we grow, evolve and become our best self. By seeing the beauty and lesson in EVERYTHING and by doing it all with love. Ask yourself kindly, without judgment or criticism, “What within me can I bring to the light?”

 •       As we begin to look at our own "stuff", and we ALL have "stuff", it may feel really scary, overwhelming or difficult, but as you start peeling back layers, the lightness and joy, the understanding and true "seeing" of ourselves makes you want to do it again, and again. To uncover your true authentic self and get rid of whatever is not serving you. It's a beautiful unraveling of who we thought we were, to reveal who we really are. And who doesn't love a good treasure hunt?

 •         One of my greatest treasures this year was uncovering my perfectionism. Acknowledging that tendency, allowed for a conscious observation of it on a daily basis. I used to take everything personally and could never take criticism. I hated the thought of being wrong, of someone being upset with me or disliking me. My self worth was completely tied to my perfectionism. After reading Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements, I saw the beauty in not taking anything personally, because someone else’s actions and words are simply a projection of their own reality and have nothing to do with me. And two, my perfectionist mentality was just a shield I used to avoid pain, judgment and blame. A shield that was actually keeping me from stepping wholeheartedly into my authentic self.

•         Brene Brown says, “To overcome perfectionism, we need to be able to acknowledge our vulnerabilities to the universal experiences of shame, judgment, and blame; develop shame resilience; and practice self-compassion.”  Consciously working on my perfectionism has helped me to begin to communicate with love, appreciate the lessons in everything (most especially the challenging moments), accept with gratitude other's insight even if it is difficult to hear, release my pride and ask for help when I need it, forgive myself if everything doesn't go exactly how I had planned it and sometimes... letting go of the plan all together. In order to do all of these things, I had to cultivate self-love in a way I had never understood before. To be kind, compassionate, patient, and understanding with myself. To choose everyday to listen to my body, my mind and my inner wisdom rather than bulldoze my way through life, moving from one task to the next, neglecting to truly care for myself. A beautiful yoga instructor and spiritual mentor raised this interesting question in class the other day. Why is it that every time we think about positive words like kindness, compassion, or tenderness they are almost always tided to the concept of "other" but rarely "self". 

•         How you love yourself, allows others to love you in the same way. The age old saying, “treat others the way you wish to be treated”, well, that goes for the relationship with yourself as well. Treat yourself, the way you wish to be treated.  There is no more important task in this life, than learning to love yourself, for you are your reality.

 •       For some perfectionists the whole "only able to change ourselves" thing can feel really scary, but if we choose to look at it in a positive light hey... At least we can control the most important thing. Marianne Williamson says, "a miracle is simply a change in perspective" how amazing is that! If we choose for our reality, our perspective to be of a happy, fulfilled, balanced life, so it will be. 

•       Our reality is uniquely and individually chosen. Our perception, our choices, our actions and emotions all combine to create what we see as reality. And the beauty of that reality is that it is as wonderfully malleable as our bodies. Cultivating a healthy reality, a healthy body, a healthy life is one of the greatest gifts of being human. Understanding health in a holistic manner, means understanding that the health of our body, is undeniable connected to the health of our mind and soul and vice versa. One affects the others and they all affect the whole. The easiest and most common example is stress. Stress affects our thoughts, our emotions and our body and therefore affects us as a whole. Looking at your own health holistically can help you tune into what your being is trying to tell you. A physical ailment can often times be your body trying to alert you to something else within you that is not in balance. Understanding the roots within is being consciously aware of our whole health, our whole being.  

 •       The power of the universe lies within you. The possibilities, the ability for change and the creation of a life you thought could only be a dream is all within your power and you don’t have to do it alone. I realized this year that connections are what make life so sweet. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness but a sign of higher intelligence and self-awareness. If you are ready for the journey of a lifetime and you would like someone to support you throughout that journey, I would be honored. My journey has lead me to the next addition and chapter of my professional life, holistic life coaching. I am so extremely passionate about assisting others in exploring their truest selves and creating the life they truly want. The only responsibility we have is to live our best life, to love and act in our greatest good. And that greatest good is completely in alignment with our greatest love, joy, connectedness, fulfillment and Power. It would be my genuine honor to support you in the creation of your dream life.

•       I will leave you with one last goodie - a goodie that created an enormous shift within me. As my dear friend Nola said to me one year ago…

 “You are the one you have always been waiting for”

Perfection

Part of the journey of a lightworker or intuitive energy worker is to continually work towards clarity within, in order to be as clear as possible when working with others. We go about finding that clarity by lifting the density or negativity within ourselves that hinders us from connecting with the universal life force and with our highest self. This is the reason I went to Guatemala. It is a wonderful, life changing practice for anyone, energy worker or not. To truly connect within and confront your own darkness in order to become the very best version of yourself, your authentic self. It is a life long journey of self discovery and an excavation of the soul in order to live fully in that authentic self. Sometimes this means releasing your pride in order to see some of your habits or mental practices that do not serve you. 

The very first day in Guatemala I had a personal revelation that echoed and reverberated throughout the rest of my stay; another truth that wove into my self like a beautiful golden thread in a web of interconnected parts that compose the woman I am today, but may not be tomorrow. This enlightening, and some what hard to admit, truth was that the need for perfection and control in everything I do, was a product of my Fear. I saw how this one fact seeped into so many facets of my life. But where does that fear come from? It is a fear of not being loved, of being judged, of getting hurt, and most importantly, of not being truly seen. Fear is often the secret underlying reason behind a lot of our internal processing and acknowleding the fear is the first step in taking away its power. We control because we are afraid of what might happen if we don't, because there is a safety and comfort within that control. Control and perfection are two threads of the same cloth. We control in order to strive for perfection. But how does that benefit us? What happens when we stop striving and simply... allow. 

As a proud feminist and strong, independant woman, I strive to be the best at everything I do. But the raw truth is that I have always tried to prove myself, to be seen, understood and most importantly, loved. All of which were not easy to admit to myself, and even harder to admit publicly, but what I realized lying in a hammock in San Marcos, is that my desire for perfection was controling my life and hindering me from livining in the serenity of my authentic self. Striving for perfection simply creates a lot of "shoulds". As Dr. Jen Jackson, my dear friend and another beautiful guide in my life always says, "Stop shoulding all over yourself!" "Shoulds" create a pressure for perfection, and often carry with them a sense of failure. If we do not accomplish all that we should, we feel as though we have failed and a cycle of self criticism leaves us feeling less than. I think a lot of women struggle with this. We all want to be the best friend we can be, the best mother we can be, the best partner, the best in our chosen career, the best homemaker, the most fit, to have the perfect body, the perfect life. Some of these things may align with our authentic self, but some of them may not.

Many of us put so much pressure on ourselves to BE everything and DO everything. I AM WOMAN, I CAN DO IT ALL, sometimes to the detriment and sacrifice of ourselves. The problem is, that many times, we don't feel like it is a choice but a necessity, a responsibility. We have to do all the cleaning, laundry, dishes, child/pet care, AND bring home the bacon. But I firmly believe that we create our own reality, therefore it is within our power to change that reality, if we so choose. Asking for help is not showing weakness, vulnerability is not a flaw. It takes strength to be vulnerable, to allow ourselves to see our own darkness, to expose our souls, in order to heal them. Those millions of little moments of guilt for not being everything or doing everything, can leave millions of little scars on our souls. Knowing when doing EVERYTHING is not in your best interest, and then allowing yourself to ask for help or simply let it go, does not mean that you are less of an independant, strong woman, but rather a woman wise enough to know what is best for herself, and then in turn, best for those she loves.  

The need for perfection can not be confused with drive. Drive is what fuels our passions. But that is the key point, for our passions serve our highest self. I don't regret working hard in school or working hard to create a business of my own. Those are not necessarily byproducts of my need for perfection but are results of the passion I have for educating myself and for being an entrepreneur. I do however, see how my need for perfection and control may have pushed me past that ever elusive balance many times. When I should have said no, but instead said yes, when I took on yet another challenge or responsibility instead of focusing on creating time for meditation or self/soul care. Instead of taking care of myself, I focus on taking care of others but as I said in my post Be Gentle With Yourself, you can not be the best version of yourself, without first taking care of yourself. It is still something I am working on today and only now do I realize how my focus on perfection has hindered my full acceptance of that fact.  

It is not an easy habit to break when it has been so engrained in who you are for so long, but in order to change the reality, change our consciousness and perspective, we have to be willing to acknowledge our own darkness and be gentle with our selves as we work towards the light. Being aware of the thing you want to change will help you to see that moment of self criticism or guilt for not being perfect, and then self love will help you release it. Let go of the reins and let that goddess horse run free. Those who love you are happy to help, love yourself enough to let go of the chains of perfection and control. Rather than striving, simply allow. When you are aligned with your authentic self, mind, body and soul, you will accomplish all you set out to do with ease, efficiency, pleasure and satisfaction. If the fear of not being seen, loved or understood is what fuels that need for perfection, simply love yourself enough to let it go.

I was unable to finish this piece for weeks until a friend recently posted this quote on Facebook. It is the answer. It shows us how to heal and lift the weight of perfection and control, for they are both an illusion and letting go of that illusion will set us free.  

She let go.

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear.

She let go of the judgments.

She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.

She let go of the committee of indecision within her.

She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.

Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice.

She didn’t read a book on how to let go.

She didn’t search the scriptures.

She just let go.

She let go of all of the memories that held her back.

She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.

She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go.

She didn’t journal about it.

She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.

She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.

She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.

She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.

She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.

She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.

She didn’t call the prayer line.

She didn’t utter one word.

She just let go.

No one was around when it happened.

There was no applause or congratulations.

No one thanked her or praised her.

No one noticed a thing.

Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort.

There was no struggle.

It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.

It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be.

A small smile came over her face.

A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore…
- Ernest Holmes

* With love to all you beautiful goddesses, I say, Let Go. *

A Spiritual Journey Into the Depths of The Soul

San Marcos, Guatemala

It has been a magical and transformative year in my life. My spiritual journey and progression has had a beautiful natural flow and I have been lucky enough to be guided and inspired by so many amazing people. Exactly one year ago, I completed my Reiki I and II certification which was a beautiful entrance into the power of energy work, but the catalyst of my spiritual journey was three years ago when my dear friend and mystical goddess, Nola Ganem introduced me to her teacher and cacao shaman, Keith Wilson. Cacao is the purest form of chocolate. As a known super food, it has many amazing health benefits but it is also a wonderful facilitator when used for inner work and connecting with a higher consciousness.  Keith was called to share this powerful plant medicine and is now shipping his hand processed, 100% pure, raw Guatemalan cacao all over the world. 

After 3 years of watching my own spiritual path unfold, I finally made it to Guatemala this past February to learn from Keith and as Nola says, "to go deep, to fly high". I went into this experience with the intent of traveling into my own consciousness and connecting with my highest, most authentic self. It was not a vacation but rather a journey into the depths of my soul. 

Sarah Ban Breathnach says, "Only when the clamor of the outside world is silenced will you be able to hear the Deeper Vibrations... When there is Light we see remarkably well. We see with clarity. And what we see if we look deep within is that the authentic self is the Soul made visible."  Once I stepped away from the world I knew, I was able to travel within and simply focus on lifting the density or darkness held in my soul, the kind of density we all carry. It is the traumas, emotional scars, and negative energy that we carry within our physical and spiritual body, and can only be lifted through Light or in other words, Love. It was not easy work and at one point I was violently ill, but the clarity, freedom and understanding that resulted was both beautiful and enlightening.   

There were a few life changing, simple but profound truths that came to light on this trip, truths that wove through multiple facets of my life and Self. Truths that once realized, started a ripple effect of change as my eyes began to truly see. In this blog post I will start with the first of these truths. Fear is what gives density or darkness its Power. Sitting on Keith's porch with 30+ people, mostly strangers from all over the world, my heart racing and my hands shaking, I knew that it was time to voice and release a darkness that had haunted me for over a decade. When I was 16 years old I was raped and for 12 years, the fear of that one moment has held me captive. It was a dark secret that became a part of my identity. Until recently, I couldn't even say the word rape without fear that it would ignite yet another panic attack. Even after years of therpay, and much self-reflection, I knew there was still a layer under the surface that I had not lifted. A layer cloaked and protected by Fear. 

As I vocalized my darkest secret and said "yes" to my own process and "hello" to the power of my authentic self, my Fear no longer had power over me. My rape no longer had power over me. After I told my story, another woman was brave enough to speak about her own traumatizing sexual assault experiences and she then helped me to lift the last remaining heaviness. She told me that my rape is not my story. It does not define me. It is not a part of who I am but rather a part of my journey. I realized in that moment that holding onto this secret all these years was not only giving it the power to define me but that my silence wasn't helping anyone, least of all me. Vocalizing my experience helped me to release it and, at the same time, it helped another woman to process her own trauma. 

Once I returned from Guatemala, I knew that a shift had occurred, a weight had been lifted. I could now talk about my experience without fear, anxiety or attachment. As I communicated with other women about my trip and what I had learned, I heard more and more stories about their own sexual assaults, and I saw a pattern in many of their words. Many of them said, "I had a similar experience", but did not seem to consider it rape. I struggled with the same issue throughout the past 12 years, and although all of my therapists said the same thing, I had a hard time fully acknowledging it. The definition of rape is simple. It is a "criminal offense defined in most states as forcible sexual relations with a person against that person's will" or in other words, a nonconsensual sexual act. The fear of using the word rape comes from a feeling that our experience is not worthy of being called rape, but when we allow that fear to dictate the way we conceptualize our own experience, it diminshes the severity and personal trauma of it and therefore does not allow us to properly process it. However, regardless of the words we use, or the particular circumstanses of our experience, it is how it affects us individually that matters. Allow yourself the opportunity to go deep within and feel it, in order to move through it, understand it and begin to heal it.  

In order to fully release this particular trauma I also had to let go of the self blame, shame and regret surrounding it, and simply accept it as a part of my journey and appreciate how it has helped me grow. Throughout the past 12 years, my rape has taught me many things. It taught me that my self worth should not come from being a sexual object or from physical beauty, but from my innate strength, intelligence, divine femininity and most importantly from the power of my own heart. I had to learn to detach from other people's opinions and responses to my experience. Other people's opinions cannot and should not define your experience. Sexual trauma is an assault on every aspect of a being; mind, body and soul, and there are many people that don't understand that fact. I think that maybe if the 1 in 3 women that have been sexually assaulted were to share their experiences, then people would see the reality of what their sisters, mothers, daughters, wives, and friends have been through, and would offer their love and support and hopefully begin to change the awareness and consciousness about sexual assault so that that horrifying statistic can also change. 

My spiritual journey has gradually lead me to myself, to my authentic self and the power that she pocessess. The power to heal both myself and others as I lift the density to make room for even more Light and Love. It is a life long journey of learning and exploring and a journey I humbly accept. These blog posts are meant to heal, to shed light on the darkness and create change through love. I openly and warmly invite anyone who wishes to share their thoughts and feelings to please do so in the comment section or contact me directly. Let the conversation begin ladies. 

Live Your Life With Love,

Emily 

New Favorite Finds

A Few of My New Favorite Finds...

Where to Shop: Zenabelle

 Zenabelle is an all natural "Eco Chic" beauty boutique in beautiful downtown Bristol. It carries popular brands such as Naturopathica, Dr. Hauschka, and Weleda, plus some amazing lesser known natural finds. From body care, skincare, and makeup to natural deodorant (that actually works!), nail polish and nutritional supplements, this boutique has it all!

Stay Informed: GoodGuide, EWG

GoodGuide is a great resource that rates products and companies on their health, environmental, and social performance. GoodGuide's 0 to 10 rating system helps consumers quickly evaluate and compare products. 

EWG or Environmental Working Group empowers people to live healthier lives in a healthier environment by making it possible for them to make informed, knowledgeable decisions. In particular, check out their Skin Deep Cosmetics Database for reviews and info on all of your favorite products.

Yummy, Healthy Meal: The Beehive Cafe

Also in Bristol, RI, this little cafe is my new favorite place to eat. Down-to-earth, friendly staff and insanely delicious food; this place is a gem. Just around the block from Zenabelle, this special little cafe is passionate about sourcing locally and even has a program that allows locals to trade their homegrown produce for credit on their personal Beehive Barter account! 

Meditation and Spiritual Counseling: Under The Sun or "Meditation Bob"

 A regular meditation practice can be a powerful means of changing your life. Bob has been practicing for over 40 years and is a wonderful, kind, and profoundly knowledgeable guide who has a wide range of expertise. Whether you are in search of spiritual guidance, guided meditation, personal or couples counseling, Bob is the perfect person to talk to. 

 ~Every kind word helps. If you have ever enjoyed a service from Emily Perkins Esthetics and would like to share your experience, it would be so very appreciated if you would take the time to write a quick review Here on my Facebook Page. ~

Live Your Life With Love,

Emily

Be Gentle With Yourself

Far too often we are critical, judgemental or cruel to ourselves. Negative thinking is harmful to every aspect of our being. It creates negative thought patterns which hinder us from seeing our true selves, from living in the light. It creates negative energy which pools in our cells and like stress, damages those cells. Breaking those negative thought patterns can free you. When you find yourself being critical or hard on yourself or others,  gently remind yourself to release the negativity, it does not serve you. Release the negativity, it does not serve you.  

Change the conversation with yourself. Appreciate your unique individuality, your unique beauty. There is only one you and you are beautiful. Take time for yourself everyday. You can not be the best version of yourself unless you take care of yourself. You can not be the best partner you can be, the best parent you can be, the best at what you do for a living, you can not give of yourself without first making sure that you are caring for yourself. Listen to your body, if you are tired, rest. Listen to your heart, your soul, your own intuition. This is the heart of holistic health; getting to know, addressing and caring for your mind, body and soul. You will be amazed at how your life will change when you simply, love yourself. 

Live Your Life With Love,

Emily 

Reiki

I am so excited to start down the next path in my professional journey. Two weeks ago I joined an amazing group of healers in completing our Level 2 Reiki Training at Tenth Gate Yoga. It was invigorating and heart warming to meet so many beautiful, gifted, enlightened people and to share with one another the inspiring power of Reiki. 

Energy work is something that I have been practicing in my treatments instinctively for years but I never had an understanding or the knowledge behind my tool. There are many different forms of energy work and many different names, but at the center of it all is a healing, loving exchange.

"Rei" means transcendental spirit, universal power or the spiritual dimension of the soul.

"Ki" is the vital life force energy which flows through all things. Also known as Chi or Prana

Reiki is the energy of life itself. The Ushi System of Reiki is a healing technique that reawkens and elevates this energy, channeling it from the Universe into oneself or others. It is never harmful and is available to everyone. Everyone experiences Reiki differently but ultimately it is a soothing, relaxing treatment which helps to calm the mind, body and soul. If you are interested and wish to learn more, please feel free to contact me. 

Live your life with love,

Emily